Attracting Women: Reading Body Language by Darren G. Burton

Knowing how a girl is truly responding to you, and what her possible intentions are with you, can be gauged fairly accurately by what her body language is telling you. You have to know how to read the signs though. Sometimes it’s easier for an outside observer to read the signs than it is for the actual participant.

If you are unsure and you are out with a mate, and he’s been nearby casually observing how things are going with you and the girl you are chatting to, make an excuse to leave the girl briefly and go talk to him. Find out his opinion on your progress and whether he thinks the girl is keen on you. He’ll soon be able to give you the heads-up.

A very blatant form of rejection, or potential rejection (apart from her ignoring your initial smile and eye contact advances), is if she either turns away from you when you first approach her, or she crosses her arms and/or legs. These are both very defensive gestures that offer up a barrier. It will be pretty evident that she is not open to anything with you at all. Of course, you could try to persist in these circumstances and attempt to break down her barriers, but how much time and energy have you got, and how much of your vital resources do you want to waste on somebody offering you negative body language?

With that important point mentioned, we’ll stick with looking for the positive signs from this point on.

The first and obvious signal you have already had at this point is her return eye contact and smiles. You then advanced to the next level of actual physical contact with the casual placing of a hand on your shoulder or arm as you spoke.

Casual touching like this means you are closely situated. She obviously doesn’t mind you being in her personal space. That’s an excellent sign. Obviously moving away and keeping her distance is the exact opposite.

If you are sitting beside each other and she starts touching your leg, that’s an even more positive sign that she is keen. A leg touch is more personal than a casual pat on the arm or touch of the shoulder. If she does happen to touch your leg in this manner, try returning the touch the next time your speak. Don’t reciprocate instantly. Leave a decent break of at least thirty second before trying the return leg touch. Make the first touch as casual as the placing of your hand was on her shoulder. If she doesn’t seem to object to you touching her thigh, add a bit of a stroke to the next touch, but still keep it brief. Work your way slowly from there. Make the touches more personal and lingering. If her interest is escalating, she’ll do likewise.

Never be so crass as to try to fondle her breasts or other private parts in public. You could just look too sleazy, and even if she’s keen on going home with you, she doesn’t necessarily want to look like a slut in front of her friends or others. Have some decorum and subtly. There’s plenty of time and opportunity for that stuff when you are at home alone together. You can quite properly close the deal on a girl without the need to publicly molest her.

Some areas of body language are quite obvious to read. The subtle, smaller ones can be trickier. That’s why it is important to read some books entirely devoted to the subject. Or search out a DVD to watch body language examples in action. It’s a very interesting subject regardless of the dating game.

A lot of body language has to be read in clusters, rather than forming a solid opinion from just one action.

Here’s a simple example. We expressed earlier that if a girl you are chatting to is smiling and making regular eye contact, then she’s most likely keen. True, if the rest of her body language is backing that up. However, if the girl who is doing the eye contact and smiling is sitting there with her arms crossed in a defensive gesture, then the most likely answer in this scenario is that she is not interested and is probably just being polite.

So, to illustrate the cluster of this example in a positive situation, this is basically how things will look.

She is smiling and making regular eye contact. Her body is positioned toward you and not away from you (she can have her legs crossed for the sake of decorum here – it’s not necessarily negative). Her hands and arms are not crossed but in a relaxed pose, say resting comfortably in her lap. Or, alternatively, she is regularly doing the touchy-feely thing with you.

With a cluster of positive signals such as this, it’s safe to say that at the very least she is comfortable in your presence and at least wants to be friends with, or friendly to you.

The more touching she does (and allows you to do), and the more she allows you inter her personal space, are suggestions that she’s quite physically keen for something. Especially when the touching becomes more personal; like a stroke of the thigh. Or something really obvious like kissing.

Another little thing to look out for. Say she has a glass of wine or is sipping from a flute of champagne. If she starts to run her finger up and down the stem of the glass while you are interacting, it can be a sign that she is sexually interested in you. Any sort of stroking of a phallic symbol like this is a very positive indication of what’s on her mind. Provided other forms of positive body language are present.

The above article is an excerpt from the author's book "Chick Magnet: The Secret of the Attraction Factor" by Darren G. Burton. To view or purchase a copy, visit: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1409226379